Do I really expect anyone to read this page.....well, no...but it's my blog so I can put it on here anyway.
So why put it on here if no one will read? It's not because it gives me something to do, believe me, I have plenty. I guess after 11 years of being home with kids all day long, and just last month starting my youngest son in school, I'm now sitting in a nice quiet, peaceful home 5 days a week, 8 hours a day and loving it. Don't get me wrong, I love my four children, like many of you I would give my life for them; but I'm only human and hearing non-stop fighting, squelching (is that even a word?) and a 5 year old son who feels clothes should be optional takes its toll on this 34 year old.
Like I said, I have 4 children-an 11 year old daughter who is as sweet as pudding one minute and a moody lump laying on the couch the next thinking she's the smartest person in the house. I have 6 year old twin daughters who are the polar opposite of each other, look nothing a like; a minute apart, I sometimes can't believe these two are even related to each other. Baby A as she was referred to throughout my pregnancy is small and danty, all girl, sweet and quiet at home and loud and confrontational in school. I get calls and notes from teachers on her all of the time for talking, humming, pushing other children and yelling at her teacher....I find it amazing this is the same child who speaks so softly at home. Baby B as she was referred to during my pregnancy is my little trouble maker at home, she's several pounds bigger than here twin, atleast 2 inches taller, and about 5 decibals louder. She looks adorable enough, but takes no crap from anyone especially when it come to my oldest daughter. She has a raging temper and whines about the smallest things; however, around others or at school she's kindest, sweetest, lovable child could ever meet. I can't explain any of this, where does nature vs. nurture come into this? Now...my youngest son; this is my special little guy but also the root of most of my insanity...I'm just joking.....well...maybe.....you see, he has autism. Him having autism was never a problem with his father and I, we've always faced it head on; what autism has done to my boy though I fully believe is what has caused half of my hair to go gray and for me to have a cigarette habit I just can't give up yet. I was never so happy last month when he started kindergarten, I missed him, sure, but....it mean't that for 8 hours during the day nothing would be broken, I wouldn't be cleaning poo that he smeared all over his wall, sneaking into the bathtub for his 20th time that day or digging a hole in the wall.....it mean't I could relax for a little bit. Most people I read about with an autistic child claim they wouldn't change thier diagnosis for the world, I have to ask what planet are you living on? If I could change this I would in a heartbeat, maybe I'm selfish that way but I want to know what my child wants, I want to communicate with him, I don't want to constantly worry about turning my back and him running out the door and not finding him. Would I go back in time and change the fact he was concieved...NEVER...he is a blessing and I am so thankful to have him in our lives, he definatly keeps us on our toes.
My husband, I met him in 1994 and we've been together ever since. We have been there for each other though some great times and through some pretty rotten times; but I like to think we are the glue that hold each other togther. We've dealt with crazy family members, a 4 year stint in the Army, infertility from PCOS (I know I have 4 kids!), a miscarriage, his deployment to Iraq while I was pregnant with the twins, job losses, job aggravation and other very personal matters. We argue a lot, but I couldn't live without him in my life.
I'm just your regular, everyday, plain jane mom and wife. I'm nothing special, I've done nothing special, I'm just me. In 2007, I was almost 30 years old and at the time had a 5 month old baby, 22 month old twins, and an almost 7 year old daughter and decided I wanted to finish my college education. I enrolled in the local community college taking courses online to obtain an Associates degree in Medical Information Technology, which is just a nice, fancy word for what I would soon find out is a degree in nothing. A complete waste of 2 years of my life, but I have a nice little diploma and student loans to show for my hard work to accomplish nothing. I did get some lovely gifts from people for graduating and a little party, that should make up for the $12000 bill coming at me as soon as I graduate from my next risk taking college adventure. I am now enrolled at Western Governors University in the Teachers program, being a teacher is something I wanted to do when I was young but never made anything of it. I have 2 years left in this degree and I don't regret it one bit. Working occasionally as a substitute teacher has prepared me for what I have coming and I do enjoy it; wouldn't you know though, getting a teaching job now takes an act of God; I only hope it gets better before I need to look for a job.